Learn to be curious about your low desire.
Establishing early, consistent, and curiosity-filled conversations with your partner is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give one another. It is important to note that not all of the books listed below will be congruent with your value system. Even still, we recommend reading many of them from leading thinkers in the field. We all need more language to help us understand who we are and what we might be experiencing.
Read Jay’s Instagram post on Low Desire
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Develop Intimacy In Your Relationship
The Great Sex Rescue – Sheila Gregoire
Based on a groundbreaking in-depth survey of 22,000 Christian women, The Great Sex Rescue unlocks the secrets to what makes some marriages red hot while others fizzle out. Generations of women have grown up with messages about sex that make them feel dirty, used, or invisible, while men have been sold such a cheapened version of sex, they don’t know what they’re missing. The Great Sex Rescue hopes to turn all of that around, developing a truly biblical view of sex where mutuality, intimacy, and passion reign.
Passionate Marriage – David Schnarch
Passionate Marriage has long been recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. This book explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. This book provides the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional problems. It seeks to help couples invigorate their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.
Intimacy & Desire – David Schnarch
David Schnarch creates a roadmap for how you can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a source of new and powerful desire for each other. Readers are also offered simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.
Develop Sexual Health and Pleasure
Come As You Are – Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are notes the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
The Heart and Soul of Sex – Gina Ogden In The Heart and Soul of Sex, Ogden coaches readers to fully realize the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of sex.
How “Biblical Womanhood” Was Developed
The Making of Biblical Womanhood – Beth Allison Barr
Biblical womanhood – the belief that God designed women to be submissive wives, virtuous mothers, and joyful homemakers – pervades North-American Christianity. From choices about careers to roles in local churches to relationship dynamics, this belief shapes the everyday lives of evangelical women. Yet biblical womanhood isn’t biblical, says Baylor University historian Beth Allison Barr. It was born in a series of clearly definable historical moments.
Understand And Heal Your Past
Emotional Inheritance – Galit Atlas
It Didn’t Start With You – Mark Wolynn
Silently Seduced – Ken Adams
The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse – Dan Allender
The Soul of Shame – Curt Thompson
Healing The Wounded Heart – Dan Allender
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing
Based on original research from over 3,800 men and women, Unwanted is a groundbreaking resource that explores the “why” behind self-destructive sexual choices in order to help readers work towards freedom. Psychotherapist Jay Stringer explores how the sexual difficulties we face are a roadmap to healing, not a life sentence to shame or struggle.
Six Key Drivers of Low Sexual Desire
Looking for Sexual Health Resources for Parents?
Plan – Answer These Questions
- What are the inherited stories I received about sex? How might those stories affect my ability to direct and enjoy my sexual life?
- What aspects of my sexual history do I have the most shame around? How might that affect the way I engage or disengage my sexual health?
- What sexual stories do I have that are marked by delight?
- What is one legitimate reason for why I might not desire sex?
- What area of my life is my low desire inviting me to heal?
- What area of my life is my low desire pushing me to grow?
- What is one step I can take to understanding and transforming my sexual story?
More questions or resources?
